Thoughts for Thursday

So I am having a slightly slow afternoon (there are some pending projects I should be working on but cant due to someone else needing to fix their crap!). So instead of working I am going to do my normal ramble!

First thought of today (and the one that is bugging me the most this week). I gained 2 pounds this week (goes with the 2 pounds from last week). I am offically +4 pounds this pregnancy. I gotta figure out how to mentally cope with gaining weight. I know I am supposed to gain weight. I know its going to happen. Its really hard to cope with after spending so many months focuses and driven to losing weight. I get really frustrated to see the scale move up. But at the same time I also realize there are other forces at work. I see the +2 this week and all I can think, "whats for breakfast? I am so hungry!" UGH I need to figure out how to stop thinking that gaining is bad. Howver if I continue on a trend of 2 pounds a week (with 18 weeks to go or more) that could mean a total gain of 2 * 20 = 40 pounds. YIKES! No way the dr will be happy with that. She has said 20-25 AT MOST. Ugh, I hope it will start to slow down.

On the flip side the baby section of my body has grown a bit over the last 2 weeks. she moved up a little more and I feel her kicking around my navel now. My sister described the kicking as feeling like little flutters. But that doesnt seem to fit what I feel. I think its better described as the feelings I get from roller coasters. I am trying to think of how to describe it better. Its that feeling of going down the hill of the coaster and feeling like my stomach is gonna come out of my body (I guess). Its a weird sensation and I dont think it helps that my body associates that feeling with motion sickness/headaches/nauseau. But I am happy to feel something!

Today I was trying to figure out what to wear to work. I have one pair of maternity work pants, and I have worn them twice this week already. So I found a pair of pants that are 2 sizes too big. They are tight at the waist but I look like I crapped my pants! They are huge in the legs and butt. Well I cant win them all and they are better than wearing sweatpants to work (which I am not ruling out at month 9)!

I had lunch with a friend of my dad's. It was a nice lunch but a bit sad at the end. Its hard to remember that Eric and Baby Susan will never meet my mom or dad. They will only know the things I tell them (or others tell them). I wish my dad and mom could have met Eric. they would love him. I firmly believe he is what they had in mind in terms of a life partner. I found out my dad was worried I would never meet anyone. Eric is only my 3rd serious relationship. My dad was worried I would just continue to date and not settle down. But it just took me time to find the right person. I truely believe I am building a relationship that is gonna last.